Bossy Dogs

The story of my life.

Have you ever noticed what a lot of freaking work it is to be loved by dogs?

For a rare treat, I made some store-bought munchies (popcorn shrimp, french fries, spring rolls) to take downstairs to the mancave while the husband and I watch Saturday afternoon television.

The dogs, who had been milling around the kitchen since I’d first turned the oven on, were clearly in extreme distress.  “Must have munchies.  Pleeeeease… must have munchies. Please, please, please, we’re DYING!  Whatever will we do if you don’t give us munchies?”

Munchies for the pups it is.  (I made extra anyway, since I knew exactly what I’d be up against.)  So we engage in a game of toss the french fry, inciting a minor free-for-all with dogs leaping and pouncing all over.

Okay, let’s do this in a more orderly fashion.

Buddy, say “Please”.  And Buddy barks for a snack.  Rudi, “Twirl”… and like a little ballerina, he hops up on his hind feet and twirls.  Millie jumps up her full length and “high fives” me, with her front paws almost onto my shoulders.

Much better!

Except when I try to give them each a piece of spring roll, it breaks apart and lands on the kitchen floor.  Even though Rudi is all over it like a cheap suit, the grease still leaves a mess on the floor, necessitating a clean up.

So far, a 2 minute preparation (from oven to plate) has taken me nearly ten.

As I head downstairs with a plate of food for ME, I’m nearly bowled over by three dogs racing around and between my legs. Yup, time for my daily threats to leave them starving in a ditch somewhere if they break my neck on that stairway.

Settling onto the couch with a plate and my laptop is yet another challenge.  Millie (She Who Drools), has her head on my knee and her eyes on my plate; Buddy is barking at me to move over so he can climb up and snuggle under my right arm, and Rudi tries to claim my lap even though I’m hovering the laptop over it.  Sigh.

I put the laptop aside and move Rudi; by the time I’ve picked the laptop up again, he’s right back on  my lap.

We do this two or three times, until finally I grab a small blanket and drop it on top of Rudi.  Ahhhh… almost as good as a lap… and he promptly goes to sleep.

At last I’m able to maneuver the laptop, the munchies and the three dogs so that none of those are touching each other.

All in all, what “should” have taken me 4 or 5 minutes has been a good 15….simply because three dogs can be such a lot of work, when they love you so much.

I’m a lucky girl.



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